It’s President’s Day and just like every year, lists ranking the efficacy, intelligence, and popularity of the forty-three U. There’s not much to say about Taft, except that out of all the presidents, he definitely bore the strongest resemblance to Garfield the cat. Very few have ever fantasized about Benjamin Harrison, possibly because most people have forgotten he existed. Hayes botched Reconstruction, to the lasting detriment of African-Americans. Sure, he’s the father of the Constitution, but he was only five-foot-four. in an off-putting, “please don’t make my skin into a lampshade” kind of way.
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Sure, he’s a bit jowly (“Muppet-esque,” you might say), but you can’t deny that the man had a nice chin dimple. Not to mention that Taylor’s nickname was “Old Rough and Ready.” Bushes elder and younger have almost the same face, so it would be wrong of us to place him too far from his progeny. The tallest president at six-foot-four, Lincoln was a successful lawyer, a great conversationalist, and had “O Captain, My Captain” written about him.