My ex is dating an ugly guy

So here is a list of the most common reasons your husband’s ex acts like she hates you. She doesn’t hate you, she hates what you represent: The failure of her marriage, the break up of her family, the woman her ex-husband became a better man for, the fear that she might have ruined her child’s life by not being able to make the marriage work. She’s afraid her kids will love you more than they love her. This could include showing up at a parent-teacher conference, forcing the kids to call you mom (yes, that does actually happen), calling the kids “mine,” posting pictures of the kids on your Facebook page, trying to co-parent with her by responding to messages sent to your husband, etc… She perceives you as overstepping boundaries by participating in events she believes are reserved for “mom” and participating in events not only reserved for mom, but that are “firsts.” These might include: taking your stepdaughter to buy her first bra or getting her first haircut; participating in any sort of cosmetic experience (hair color/new hair style/ mani-pedi day); talking to her about the birds and the bees; painting her nails or coloring/cutting her hair the way like it or similar to yours (even if your step is a teen and she requests this, it could still push mom’s buttons). For a long time she could just ignore the painful feelings that accompany divorce. She may even be remarried, but never actually grieved the loss of her marriage and family. When she looks at your strengths, all she sees are her weaknesses.

To explain: These high-school hotties are used to having the sort of unadulterated, fawning adoration that the symmetrically blessed always get in high-school, but the problem is that it doesn't do them any good. I also have a little (and relatively untested) theory.

In fact, it's fair to say that it categorically does them harm. I believe that women tend to come into themselves -- appearance-wise -- much later in school than men.

Anecdotal evidence aside, I know for a fact that I don't find "hot" men attractive.* Let me clarify - I find them pleasing to the eye, and every so often quite tempting, but I don't find myself actually attracted to them. [Disclaimer: This post should in no way indicate that my boyfriend is ugly and/or unattractive.

And here I have to admit that I am undoubtedly judging their books by their covers, but I have yet to find the exception to the rule. But I find that women are much more inclined to date with their emotions - to pick a man that is funny, comforting, kind, and generous - and they'll often pick one or all of those traits over his looks.

I thought that women felt attracted to men for the same reasons that we feel attracted to women. I didn’t realize that it was possible to make beautiful women feel attracted to me for reasons OTHER than looks, so if they rejected me, I simply assumed, That’s all I knew because I was another brainwashed modern man who believed the junk I saw in TV and magazine advertisements.

Last modified 30-Oct-2019 07:22