This implies that there is something wrong with us because we aren't like everyone else; we are strange; we are different; we are weird. The more different from the mass norm a person is, for example, more intelligent or more sensitive, the more he is likely to be invalidated.
I haven’t met a survivor who hasn’t been invalidated as they have journeyed through their recovery process. Step 1: We must have the initial pain of invalidation after a childhood experience. For example, if we experienced sexual abuse and try to tell an enabler parent, we may be faced with the famous accusation that we are making it up.
In these cases, it is harder to unravel the impact on our psyches because it just didn’t seem so bad. This person has just repeated what your inner defender has been telling you all along. All that work you have been doing to override your defender and access your traumatic pain has been thwarted. We are energetically attracted to those with similar trauma. When we interact with people, we will inevitably face their projection, as they will inevitably face ours.
For example, we might tell someone how we are going to rise above our circumstances one day, and we may be told to be realistic by someone who wants to keep us from being hurt by failure. Your inner defender feels vindicated and has gained a little strength. You inner child is now screaming at the ridiculousness of this invalidation which is repeated again and again. That doesn’t mean we had the exact same experiences. Projection is a fairly simple process that creates a whirlwind of difficulties in relationship. The person who invalidates you has faced similar invalidation in their own life.
For instance, if we don't trust our fear, how do we know if we're in danger, and then how can we take the necessary steps to protect ourselves?