The good news is that unless your spouse will have no communication with you, the reconnect is under your control.
The way that you communicate will either automatically create a connection or automatically push your partner further from you.
This is because the way we say things trigger attraction or repulsion at the subconscious level.
Rather than assigning blame for problems, discuss what went wrong and what each of you could have done differently (References 1). When dates with your estranged spouse go well, physical intimacy seems a natural progression.
Decide before you begin dating your spouse if sex is on the table.
Although it might make sense for a couple not contemplating divorce, a physical relationship with your wife when you know divorce is imminent will only cause emotional pain (References 3).
Understand the legal ramifications of your actions.
Here are some guidelines for dating that I’ve seen couples discuss productively in mediation: Talk about how these ideas might work for your family: Is it ok to introduce the kids after three months of dating?